Thursday, June 30, 2011

Calm after storm.

Muka aku bruk. Yeay! sblh aku,sarah. Kad bank sekali! HAHA
Nie time kelas vietnam. Men ten la,IZZA :) (SILA GOOGLE maksodnye :P)
Baru balik psr mlm dgn ILI CHANEL!. HAHA. Muke excited weh,beli pygkut shawl. HAHA
Ney muke sebulan tkmakan. Sumpah aku murtad dah potato tu. Takbest. HAHA

Ney saje snap dlm kedai owg smentara nk beli rotiboy ili yg akhirnya tkbeli pon.

Ney kat Vincci.Beli 10 pasang kasut sorang tadi :P

 ; I feel colorful and vibrant! Smile :)
Goodbye June. June was not so good,yet not too bad also. 
Counting to be officially eight teen! smile sweet face!
Mood; Rindu nak tgk randy panggalila celup!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Do you remember?

            ; when i was still your number ONE.

-- One day, I'll close the door of my past,padlock it, and seal it with a massive sign 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Putting the past to the bed.

Contemplating myself with silence,how pleasurable. 
The feelings slipping again. The feeling that i should have thrown away long time ago. Yeah its lame,its an old story,a really old one,but still,its worth my attention and i cant help myself from helplessly remembering it. It doesn't worth anything,but to put it into words,i rather not trade it with anything on this earth just to force myself to forget it. It doesn't harms anyways. I kept trying but it always come to dead end. 

While i have no regrets,I do still hurt. I know this thing would frustrates all of my friends who thought i already gotten over the past,but sorry,to be honest,the memory always tickles in my mind. It wont go away. I always give a mountain of efforts but still a waste anyway.Knowing that he already gotten over me,frankly its knocked me sideways. It feels like it diminishes all what we ever had. Totally vanished like that. Its. Just. HARD. Its tough knowing there's a girl placing her head in the crook of his shoulder where mine used to fit so nicely,and its broken knowing that he would ever do something as stupid and enjoyable as we used to do with the exact different person. No longer me. 

He is somebody who will always stand by me in whatever condition,he is somebody who can put a really sweet smile on my face when i totally feel bad and down,he is somebody who would always told me i am beautiful almost thousands times a day,he is somebody who can really keep up with me and my spoilt attitude,he knows me very well and he is the one who can handle me at my worse. We shared loads of priceless memories together.  And i admit,i miss most of it so much.  I wish i could grow old with him and spend the rest of my life by loving him but maybe GOD has a better plan for us. 

Well,its a journey. I hope i wouldn't dwell on all this crap that made me sad anymore. I'm well on my way. I just attaching a piece about him tonight and let the rest remains as a secret between us. No one could ever be as special as you. No one. All those good things we shared while in high school,will locked forever in my heart. Thank you for making who i am today. I hope he's doing fine right now. Time to say good bye and lets just pray if we ever meet again, MR.PENGUIN .

; For all my faults,he did love me and for all his faults,i did love him. 
rindu pada yang pernah ada dan sudah tiada.
2008,fifth-teen,i miss you.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

And yet,she is inferior to none.

and i know i will survive.
my soul can never be irreversibly damaged.

; study is okay.everything is just okay but lil bit ho-hum.  pray for me. :)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Vomit out and leave it for you to eat it up.

                   Who said words doesn't hurt? You don't know how big the damage can be.

 ; I am a student from languages and communication faculty and i am proud.
Do you think if you were studying engineering then you were the biggest fish in the pond?
Maybe the engineer isn't wise enough to know that teaching is the profession that teaches other professions. Stop underestimating and insulting. Don't act like you was so good.
If English is so easy,then why you got your English B? Too easy? Perhaps. I'm done.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Don't kill mockingbirds.

My feelings is blended together. Campus demand is not easy to deal with. Aahh,eyes feel watery whenever talked and think about it. Never expect it would be this tough. Everything is mixed up all together,and it was all unhealthy. But yeah,at least i got what i always demand for.Even got what you aimed for,yet still it is not that easy. I am scared and terrified about this Thursday. I mean,i am so hell bad at talking in front of people. My hands will shaky and my palms becomes wet and i get jittery. DUHH,my confident level is very low. I am terrified. Somebody please help me.!
Be strong babe,chill. Breathe in,breathe out. Inhale,exhale.

 --Feel free to copy and paste my line again and make it as a juicy status in face-book.
Don't have to get my permission,as if they have any manners right? 
All my entry is generally written and i am not mentioning anyone's but if the shoes fit to wear,be free to wear it. I'm running out of fucks to give about those rubbish stuffs. Kasihan.


Saturday, June 18, 2011


                Just a temporary disappear. For something's good.
                              Pray for me. 
                               Till then,so long and good bye.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Let it go.

The heavy feeling comes again. The feeling where I don't feel any desire to talk about anything to anyone. I wish i could close my eyes and just sleep. Pffttt,it can't stay that simple. I am incredibly exhausting trying to make my days fulfilling but now it already ruined in a second. When it comes about feeling,everything is completely a big disaster for me. 

I always feel insecure and scared of being left out by the one i wanted the most. But i had face it lot of times. I used to being left out,feeling so empty,and i thought i would never survived. But here am i,barely breathing. My mistakes is i trust people easily,I'm holding on into their promises even it was just a lie,and maybe at that time I was completely blind to realize the fact that people can change just in a blink of an eye. But now,I'm getting used to that fact. I'm hurt most of the time,but that's okay,I don't want people to get sick of me by telling them that,they will be much more annoyed,so i will remains silent and shut my mouth like this so no one will know about my true feeling. It easier to lie and hide the hurt instead of cry.

The pain that makes it aches more is when you found that the only way of getting out from all this is moving on.Crossing over is never easy but that's the only way. But have faith of your heart and you can overcome it lotta easier. Heart is a muscle. And what do muscles do when they get torn? They grow back stronger :) I am not perfect. And i never said i was. I'm only human,i make mistakes and i fall down. But i pick myself right back up and work for the perfection. 


                                                                                                                SO LONG AND BE EXTRA GOOD.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I'm moving into my own ways now. I'm changing myself. And i think by that,it makes me such a better person. Even i know,sometimes it makes me such an ignorance person. Am sorry,but i just don't care anymore. If i said 'I Don't Care anymore',mark my words as i am not turning back. That's the end. And please don't come back for more. I'm not someone who bears a grudge towards others,but i think one words can't simply cover up the pain. Apologizing? No need and no use anyways.

Want to know something bad? Yeah i don't mind sharing about this. I am harsh person. I am really spoilt. I'm fragile and insecure. I always blow up and complicated and mess. Nuff said? Only a real humans of mine can really keep up with me. Go on judge me. I'm being pretty honest and don't ever coming back claiming you know nothing about me once you got the chance. 

; If i look closely,i can see how far I've gone through my rough life. 
*things had been normal again. and much much better. alhamdulillah.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Film without sound.

Oh am feeling so much better. Finally.*BIG SMILE
I wish things will runs smoothly. Am being busier with life after this.
I don't mind if people wouldn't noticing when I'm gone.
I don't mind if they wouldn't miss me. 
I don't mind if people tend to forget me.
I just don't care anymore.
It wouldn't give me a pain. I've gone through loads of pain. And I'm already too numb for it.
I am not the old me. I am a wholly-different person.
I am no longer the person who always care about what humans think,say about me.
That's such an old story. Life's not a fairy tale. Life's constantly a Nightmare.
And I'm kinda a vampire. A little vampire,lost in her big own world.

;  If i really grow up in beautiful ways,if i never gone into heart-testing,
trust me,maybe I can't think like today.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

In my arms.

I am not being so well these past few days. I'm having a fever,coughing so hard and my throat hurts badly. Also sneezing all the time. My runny nose really make me feel eff up. DUHH. 
I just wanna be random today and i don't care if any of you wanna read this or not. I'm not even that special anyway. Just for the record,it's hard to decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives. Then still,i am holding on to what i aim for. Am sorry law,i need to switching it off. It's hard for me to let go of what i have dreaming off for so long,but yeah,GOD knew it better. Farewell for now. And looking for tissues and pills. >,<

; Being silence is my option now.
Hello a brand new day. And hey JAY,i miss you loads! :)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Meet my new hero.

; Five words to say.
If there were a LIKE button on your forehead,I'll sure click it! :)
I really really really fall for you. Dun dun dun. HEE :P

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Breathe me.

Sorry if I'm being ignorant.
 I prefer being alone from time to time.
Cos people seems cant totally keep up 
                 with me.
and i think nobody really misses me,
so i will disappear,again.

smiling has always being easier
  than explaining why you're


                                                                       So long and bye.
                                                                               P/S; I'm Fine.

Monday, June 6, 2011

True pain.

Nothing can cover up all the pain that i felt. I don't want to talk,as i had disappointing them too much. I just want things to run smoothly. But the road is full of obstacles. It's really hard being in a position that I'm standing. I thought there would be any other solution,but nothing can cope me with. I'm stuck in everything. The pain had come to the surface and i am not able to keep the tears anymore. Whats the use anyway.

; My fragile hope only wait for a time to shattered. END.

Friday, June 3, 2011

No where to run.

I completely not 100 percent certain in trusting people. I had enough. And i think no one worth my trust at all. Do you ever think that someone will stand up for you if everyone else was putting you down? If you can say "yes" without even pausing to think about it,you're super-lucky as you are obviously got someone that you can count on for life. As for me,i can't answer it with confident because i had deal with two faced person for so many times. I've had enough. Enough keeping up with all the bullshit from the spiller who slip out my secret to everyone else,enough with the serial flirt who thought she is the ultimate guy magnet and can hijack the attention of any guy including the one i love the most,also enough of backstabber which pretending so nice,so sweet in front of me but at the same time trying to put me in the dump,but on top of that,i had enough living in a world built on promises,constructed by liars.*sigh

; don't be surprised if one day i really disappear. and fading away. away. away.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

You hear,but you dont listen.

Nothing amazing happened to me or maybe i had missed it. Suck-fest seems come to an end. Life's behaving now and so far my day is still not cloudy. Am grateful for that. :)

For those who were drunken and try to lure me out,also for those who were "kinddd" enough asking why am i stay single,LEMME TELL YOU THE ANSWER: I am not desperate to have a boyfriend for now plus i'm not the kind of human who easily fall for people. Well,i think i don't need to rush. If something's bound to happen,it will happen. In the right time,with the right person and for the best reason. Like seriously,i am not interested at all for now. Too many important stuffs waits for me and love is not that important. Besides,what is the meaning of love if your intention is just to use someone to move on. What is love if you were using it just to fit in because all of your friends were in love? And you was scared to face the truth that you are single? What's wrong about being single? DUHH,does originality certainly dead? Come on,stop imitating. Love is not a toy,and also not a games. Call me demanding,yes i am. Got it? Thank you.

; yes I'm smiling and you're not the reason anymore. :)