Terrible cast for the role of lover.

" Kenapa kita suka sesuatu yang kita tak punya? Sebab kita belum tahu apa rasanya jika kita punya sesuatu tersebut. Dan kenapa kita susah nak hargai apa yang kita punya? Sebab kita belum pernah rasa kehilangan apa yang sudah kita punya. "



That describe best what I feel right now. *Heavy sigh.

I want to fill my mouth with your name.

Received something fluffy from him as a gift for my semester four result.  And something extraordinary from family for my hard work last semester. Hurrah! :) Cannot wait to celebrate his birthday but I'm still working my ass out to find the best present for him. Ah what I consider best must be veryyy low in price but high in quality,naaaahh just kidding. Still googling over here and there,found some that quite attractive and interesting/suitable but my budget isn't sufficient. Now I feels like scolding my own self because did not learn how to at least bakes cookies or cakes,if not I could surprise him with something I made by myself which will surely be given an added value from him for me. Hi hi.

I let you see parts of me that weren't all that pretty

7 complete days of my first week of holiday--one word,boredom. Too much things happens in a row,one by one,and most of them are not my favor. I wish I could have a small room of apartment,with nothing in it rather than a bed and plenty of books. I wish I could spent all my day there whenever I don't feel like facing anyone I don't want to. 

These past days I've gotten myself into more selfish person. Its sick when I push people away whenever I felt dudgeon and infuriated. I'd build up walls of pure silence and ignorance to see whether they're going to break the wall and clean up the whole mess,when almost every time,it was me who started it all. It hurts to the core to actually stare at the mess you made,letting the innocent ones to beg for your forgiveness and still put your ego up when it shouldn't be like that. My ego is big but my love is bigger. I can get too emotional over such little things where I know I supposed not to that. Well I guess that not so little me. 

He's too good for me but in return I treat him like dirt. He even text me good night saying 'Good night syg. I love you so much. I hope tomorrow you wake up happily and you'll still love me like you did before.' even after a big argument which was particularly started by me. I know one word couldn't simply cover up the pain but still,I am sorry. 

I love you,muhammad hafizuddin bin mohd yusof.