Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Putting the past to the bed.

Contemplating myself with silence,how pleasurable. 
The feelings slipping again. The feeling that i should have thrown away long time ago. Yeah its lame,its an old story,a really old one,but still,its worth my attention and i cant help myself from helplessly remembering it. It doesn't worth anything,but to put it into words,i rather not trade it with anything on this earth just to force myself to forget it. It doesn't harms anyways. I kept trying but it always come to dead end. 

While i have no regrets,I do still hurt. I know this thing would frustrates all of my friends who thought i already gotten over the past,but sorry,to be honest,the memory always tickles in my mind. It wont go away. I always give a mountain of efforts but still a waste anyway.Knowing that he already gotten over me,frankly its knocked me sideways. It feels like it diminishes all what we ever had. Totally vanished like that. Its. Just. HARD. Its tough knowing there's a girl placing her head in the crook of his shoulder where mine used to fit so nicely,and its broken knowing that he would ever do something as stupid and enjoyable as we used to do with the exact different person. No longer me. 

He is somebody who will always stand by me in whatever condition,he is somebody who can put a really sweet smile on my face when i totally feel bad and down,he is somebody who would always told me i am beautiful almost thousands times a day,he is somebody who can really keep up with me and my spoilt attitude,he knows me very well and he is the one who can handle me at my worse. We shared loads of priceless memories together.  And i admit,i miss most of it so much.  I wish i could grow old with him and spend the rest of my life by loving him but maybe GOD has a better plan for us. 

Well,its a journey. I hope i wouldn't dwell on all this crap that made me sad anymore. I'm well on my way. I just attaching a piece about him tonight and let the rest remains as a secret between us. No one could ever be as special as you. No one. All those good things we shared while in high school,will locked forever in my heart. Thank you for making who i am today. I hope he's doing fine right now. Time to say good bye and lets just pray if we ever meet again, MR.PENGUIN .

; For all my faults,he did love me and for all his faults,i did love him. 
rindu pada yang pernah ada dan sudah tiada.
2008,fifth-teen,i miss you.

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