Loser.

My eyes were swollen from the tears i shed.
By now,i am feel veryveryvery weak. Thinking about things that about to happen.
It was such a drastic change. I never thought i would facing all these. Never.
I never ready for this. I should expect less.The more i expect,the harder thing is.
I wish i could restart everything. This is hard for me. So hard. 
I hope i could sleep away the sadness today. But i cant. I dont wanna fall to pieces.
But stay strong need more effort than it seem. 
Sorry to both of you.I am not as good as others.
I always wanna be your number one,and no one can talk shit about it.
But i missed it. I am sorry.